StereoTypical Motivations & UnPunny Conversations
by SailorSilvanesti
Summary: AU. 3 fun little Titans Drabbles I wrote. The last one may scar you for All Eternity with my Re-donk-ulous Punnery. A lickle bit of slash in there. Enjoy! "A Wild Red Arrow in it's natural Habitat of the Twoer Lounge..." Review please.


**Disclaimer: I do not own the Titans, Teen Titans, or Nightwing... the last one is the greatest of disappointments...as I would chain him in my room, and nevver let him leave, if he were mine...**

**Long story short, I had three random ideas...**

**The last one is my favourite, because a friend of mine accused me of mentally scarring her for life...**

**ENJOY, and Remember, _NO SEXY TALK IN THE TOWER, Dammnit_!**

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><p><strong>Stereotypical Motivations<strong>

**~)0(~**

"Go on, just take one… I'll be your friend!" the redhead giggled, shoving the box under his nose and waving in –what he believed was- a tempting manner. Richard glared back, "Not on your life. First of all, that's a stupid stereotype and second, you're already my best friend!" he scoffed.

Wally deflated, "Alright, how about a consolation doughnut to let you know how sorry I am?"

He stretched out a hand to take one, then hesitated… "That depends on how many 'cop with a doughnut' jokes you make in the next minute…"

Wally blinked back innocently. He knew he couldn't trust the speedster, but he sure as hell wanted that pink one with the sprinkles, so he took it. "No more jokes. Got it?"

The redhead snorted, "Sure thing…Officer…"

Dick reached for his gun.

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><p><strong>~)0(~<strong>

Victor Stone, known as _Cyborg_ to the world in general, awoke as he felt something small, round and metallic falling in between his arm and shoulder joints. "What the-?"

Someone giggled. Make that some_thing_… he revised, discovering a small chittering lemur of a unique shade of green never seen in nature… Not to mention, it was holding another coin in its tiny little clawed hands, outstretched to-…put it into the same small slot as before.

"_Green Genes_, you have one second to tell me what this is all about and stop doing that before I wring your scrawny green neck." He said, in a very level tone that suggested, to those who knew him, that Gar was so very, very doomed.

The lemur blinked at him, cocking the small fuzzy head to one side, and morphed back into the green boy they all knew and wanted to throttle on occasion. "Hey, you look like walking soda machine, I want a drink, the situation should be fairly obvious… Only problem was trying to figure out where to put the coins in, there was one other place but I think you would _definitely_ noticed _that_… now, where exactly do I make my selection?" Gar giggled loudly and dodged the cybernetic hand that snapped out to grab him; a second later, a small green hummingbird flitted out of the room, laughing as only a bird can.

There was a moment of pure silence in the Tower…

And then…

"**GAR! Get your Furry Green Butt BACK HERE!**"

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><p><strong>~)0(~<strong>

"Well, _hello _Miss Troy…" came the playful mating call of the wild Red Arrow, in its natural habitat of the Tower lounge room, surrounded by many empty pizza boxes and discarded cans of soda on every surface.

With a small sigh, Donna turned to face the grinning creature where it sprawled on the floor next to a wild Speedster and a slightly-more-sophisticated Vigilante… All three were holding onto game controllers and staring avidly at the screen; she half-wondered how Roy had even realised she had entered the room. He dropped the controller with a loud, "Oh, come on! How do you win every single time?" though she was unsure to whom he was referring, as Flash and Nightwing both wore winner's smiles and high-fived. They flicked a significant glance towards Roy and Donna, then walked through the annex to their left and into the Kitchen.

"Hello there yourself, Mr Harper… Well, well, well…I'd ask if you were happy to see me but your _bow _is _quiver_-ing with anticipation!" she grinned like the Cheshire cat, the archer didn't even have the good grace to flush scarlett, instead his grin went full-on sleazy. Fine with her.

She moved closer and was about to make another lewd innuendo about his '_arrow_' and how he '_never missed_' the '_target_'… when there was a distinctively aggrieved sounding voice sounding out through the annex door, "Guys, seriously?" from the speedster.

Swiftly followed by the vigilante's, "Either you two go find a room or I'm tying you both up in separate corners of the Tower… What have we said about the '_sexy talk_' in the Tower?" Nightwing appeared in the doorway with a stern look on his face and arms folded across his chest.

This time, they both looked chastened. "Uh, not while the younger Titans are in the Tower…because Superboy can hear us no matter where we are?" Roy answered, doing that '_please don't kill me in my sleep_' grin he had used so often it was now considered an art form…

"Pretty much, how would you feel if me and 'Wing started doing it? That would be _so_ awkward… So imagine how we felt when you two start up, nearly choked on my tenth ham and chicken sandwich!" Wally said, hanging his head out of the Kitchen, cowl off and red mop of hair sticking up in all directions; green eyes sparkling with righteous indignation and a strange sense of humour.

Something sparked in Donna's mind, "Well go on… Do it! We'll never learn if you don't show us what we, _incorrigible creatures,_ are doing wrong…" she smiled lewdly, blue eyes flickering back and forth between Wally's incredulous expression and the shocked look on Dick's face. "You…what?" he questioned, frowning behind his mask. Her smile fell into a smirk, "You heard me…now make with the sexy talk…"

"I don't know, anything between us would be over in a _Flash_…" Nightwing said, shocking them all; Wally literally fell over, crashing into the floor. "Since _when_ did you have a sense of humour? Thought you'd lost that when you lost those short little pants of yours… Don't look at me like that, we all saw them…" he grinned.

"That's not sexy talking!" Donna called out, from where she and Roy were perching on the couch, watching intently. "Yeah," Roy interjected, "stop stalling, even the Bat-brat managed one… you should be _shooting off at the mouth_ by now…" There was a yelp as Donna elbowed him in the chest, "Roy! Stop giving them ideas, I want them to be spontaneous…"

"_Pfft_, what's he going to do, beat me with his _Nightstick_ if I don't comply…?" Wally threw back with a funny glare, the strangled yelp that came from the couch could have been either Donna or Roy, maybe both.

"Whoa, do I even wanna ask what's going on in here…?" came the voice of Cyborg, standing in the doorway with Tempest, who was smiling even though one violet eye was twitching. Donna sat up over the side of the couch, grinning like a little girl and beaming as she informed him, "Oh, well, we were getting in trouble for making the 'sexy talk' in the Tower from those two, who were in the Kitchen at the time, apparently Wally nearly _choked_ on his _meat sandwich_ when he heard us… so, we told them to give us a demonstration. Wanna join in?"

"Sounds like fun, how about a free-for-all?" Victor grinned, though the Atlantean beside him looked puzzled. "So," Garth said, "…we simply make sexual innuendos at each other, based on their personalities and powers…?"

The loud, "In-_your_-endo!" from Roy was swiftly silenced by Nightwing tossing a pillow with deadly accuracy and knocking the archer from the couch… "Pretty much," he informed Garth, moving over to pat him on the shoulder, "Just ignore Roy, whatever you do… We do want you to come back after this, after all…" he smiled. "Who wants to go first…?"

Roy waved a hand in the air, "Ooh, pick me!" he turned to face Donna, "Personally, I think you're _Ama-zon_ in bed!" A chorus of groans, though worse was yet to be said. Nightwing tightened his grip on Garth's shoulder and said in a strange musing tone, "It could be said that Atlanteans do it _wetter_…" which sent said Atlantean into hysterics. "I'd let you _beat me_ into submission any day, Dick." He threw back.

"Tell me, Donna, is Roy a _straight-shooter…_or does he tend to_ miss the mark_?" Wally asked, garnering a wide-eyed look from said archer. "_Coming_ from the _Fastest Man Alive_… Likes to finish before he starts…" Cyborg threw out there…

Donna grinned lecherously at Garth, "So, I hear you prefer a nice _moist_ environment, when on land… How about you, me and your _magic fingers_ work on this problem…?" He actually took a step back, looking worried… she laughed. Nightwing was prodded by a cybernetic finger as Vic grinned evilly, "Oh, I'd say you'd pretty much _bend over backwards_ to please

"Hey Vic," beamed the vigilante in the room, "wanna receive a _mass download_? Or would you prefer to put your _USB_ into a _foreign outlet_…? Best be sure to use some form of _Anti-Virus Protection_…" Given the look he received for that, he may or may not have short-circuited their cybernetic team member…

"Am I going to regret asking what on Earth is going on in here…?" came the shocked inquiry, the Titans turned to find themselves being watched by four horrified members of the Teen Titans; Kid Flash was gaping at his uncle, Wonder Girl had developed a twitch, Superboy looked puzzled –well, he was technically only a few months old- and Robin, the speaker, was looking on surprised.

Wally cleared his throat, "Probably." And left it at that.

"Well," said Kid Flash, "in that case… if you need us, we'll be in another room that's far away from this one… trying to forget what we just heard. Damn you graphic imagination!" he yelled and started to push Wonder Girl and Superboy out of the room.

Leaving just Robin standing in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest and a serious expression on his face, he stared directly at Nightwing and said, "What have we said about the '_sexy talk_' in the Tower? As long as you don't _jerk me around _I'll be _flexible_ this once, but if you _screw up_ one more time, you're _going down hard_."

And he stalked off, leaving complete silence.

That is, until the older Titans burst out laughing and there was a scandalised '_TIM_!' from his teammates, who had been not-so-secretly eavesdropping just around the corner…

"Oh, he wins. No two ways about it… What is it with you Birds?" Victor laughed, clapping Garth [the closest person] on the back in joviality, which naturally the Atlantean responded to… by pushing back with his equal strength, toppling the Cyborg.

"That…was nothing, you should hear it when Batman makes an insinuation… He always wins, despite all my '_Catwoman's got you pussywhipped'_ innuendos… Standard Sexy Talk Bat-Training." The vigilante informed them, to many incredulous looks.

"Doesn't surprise me!" laughed Wally beamed, "Now, there's a few dozen sandwiches with my name on them…Coming?" he asked of Nightwing, who followed him through the annex to the Kitchen. There were considerably fewer sandwiches than when they left, Kid Flash must have found them…

~)0(~

They'd just stepped through the Kitchen when he felt a punch connect with his right arm.

"_That_ was for the '_over in a Flash' _line!" Wally said indignantly, glaring at him, and then more quietly, "…do you really think I'm too fast?" his tone was a little hurt. Dick realised he'd gone a little far with that one, "Hey no, that was just the only thing I could think of at the time… now what was that about my _nightstick_? I'm pretty certain I'm not allowed to use that outside of work, the handcuffs either…come to think of it."

Wally waved him off and grabbed a sandwich, "Pfft, never stopped you before…"

Dick frowned, looking back out towards the Lounge Room where their teammates were still conversing and asked, "Think they've guessed…?" The speedster laughed, "Nah, they'll never work it out… by the way, you totally owe me for that comment, still got your handcuffs…?" he winked at the vigilante.

The items were produced before anything further could be said.

~)0(~

The second Flash and Nightwing left the room, Donna turned to Roy with a swift nudge in the ribs. "Those two are _soooo_ together… I'd suggest nobody goes into the Kitchen for a good while…"

Didn't stop her taking pictures though…

**~)0(~**

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><p><strong>The End.<strong>

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><p><strong>Who's Scared? Anybody in the Foetal Position?<strong>

**Just three random ideas that came to me the other day and just HAD to be posted.**

**Please REVIEW if you feel like it...**

**~*SailorSilvanesti*~**


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